.. separation,” Rhee said.Heather leaned back from Rhee, thus more into me, and looked at her at length, Rhee meeting her eyes.As much as a minute later, Heather responded, “That’s probably it.” After another half-minute or so of continuing to look at Rhee, she said, “You’re a big faker! Well, I’m not buying that ... socially-unaware mask you wear, anymore.”I grinned at Rhee, but Heather’s resumed blubbering wiped it off my face.“I ... I love you, Rhee. I l-love you, both.”We held her as she quickly got herself back under control. I knew, as Rhee probably did, that Heather might well be touch-and-go this evening. No problem: we are here for her. As she wound back down, I gently released her, though Rhee kept her in a tight embrace. I picked up Heather’s bag and led them back into the house, closing the door behind them. I was a bit surprised when Heather worked out from under Rhee’s arm around her shoulders and began stripping.When I looked a question at her, Heather responded, “This. "I'll take you, if daddy lets me," I replied.He gave her to me. As I rocked her I stated to hum "Erev ShelShoshaneem," "Evening of the Roses," an Israeli love song that has asoothing melody.I must have hummed that song a dozen times. She eventually fell asleep.With the help of her father and mother I put her in her stroller. Theparents thanked me and I started to walk away. There were tears in myeyes. They were flowing by the time I sat down at my chair. A few of theother women whom I am closer to came over to me and asked me what waswrong."This is the first time I held a child this small in decades." You miss that," Esther explained.I nodded my head and blew my nose. "It hurts, but there is more. A babythat small or a woman pregnant hurts."Miriam, who is beginning to show, gave a gasp and held her hand to hermouth. I held her hand."I am still happy for you. My pain and jealousy is usually under control,but please understand that because I am a transwoman I have never nor.
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